Introduction

In early 2021, when half the world was still taking COVID-19 seriously and the other half were pretending it never happened and wasn’t happening, I started listening to One Direction. And 5 Seconds of Summer. And eventually BTS. My mind wanted something fun and simple and easy to consume: the pop/rock boy band.

At this point, along with the pandemic still taking a toll, my life was in a period of extra upheaval, and I figured out a fun way to (not) deal with it was to review the solo and side projects of current and former boy band members. I would get a little tipsier than usual, open up Spotify and Genius lyrics, and start live-tweeting my reactions. Lately, I’ve been missing doing these little one-person listening parties, but not enough to get a new Twitter account (er, X account, I guess).

And here we are. I’ve retrieved my Boy Band Music Critic hat from the back of my closet. Before I can wear it again, however, I need to readjust it to make sure it fits. So before this year is over, I’ll be going over my old tweets and consolidating them here so I don’t have to do repeat reviews.

In this post, I’ll be tackling the first few boy band solo projects I reviewed last year, song by song. So buckle up, it’s gonna be a long trip through the (mostly) unedited thoughts of 2022 Ryn.

Nobody Is Listening by ZAYN (reviewed January 16, 2022)

“Calamity”: Um I didn’t expect to start this with an existential crisis… “Calamity” is like spoken word, lobby music, and melancholy wrapped up into one song. I’m feeling things already, damn…

“Better”: I’m loving the simple background music in these first couple songs. It lets me focus on the lyrics more easily. “Better” has the same R&B vibe as that song “Leave the Door Open” by Silk Sonic. Also, I can’t say I’ve heard an OJ Simpson reference in a song before.

“Outside”: The first few seconds of “Outside” made me think of an old school Jesse McCartney song and then Zayn hit those high notes in the chorus and blew Jesse McCartney out of the water.

“Hope it hurts when you think about it” is a very “Gives You Hell” line. And the slightly altered meaning of that last chorus is sublime. (“The T-shirt that you’re wearing, that’s my favorite / Damn, I really thought that we would make it.” 😭)

“Vibez”: I don’t know why, but the line “Baby, this is far from mediocre” is hilarious to me. It’s just the mildest pillow talk ever: I’m so pumped to have sex. It’s gonna be not meh. “Vibez” is very vibey. Finally, pre-2023 Ryn wasn’t the one to bring up vibes!

“When Love’s Around (feat. Syd)”: The line “You could see it in my aura” is actually pretty clever. If your aura has changed, that means some integral part of you has changed, which means the love in this song must be pretty deep. This is just a chill love song.

“Connexion”: Ooh, we’ve got some acoustic guitar going! And now we’re snapping… Let’s gooo! Okay, now the chorus sounds like it’s coming through a megaphone. This, dear reader, is 2022 Ryn’s stream of consciousness while listening to the song. It’s a nice message (dive right in so you don’t miss out) but all I can think is that it’s a more sophisticated version of “Sexting” by Bo Burnham.

“Sweat”: Gee, I wonder what “Sweat” will be about… It is nice that ZM makes a point to mention that he wants his partner to enjoy the experience. Like, he says that he’s enjoying himself, but the other person’s pleasure seems to be the main focus. Honestly, it’s still hard to find songs that mention consent, let alone pleasuring your partner. Though there are definitely more out there than there used to be. Tune in for my future Jung Kook review for some recommendations.

“Unfuckwitable”: “Me is all I need to be inspired / My vibe and my life are all my design / Your sentiment’s irrelevant / ‘Cause I get down and up again.” We love a confident and self-sufficient king. And we still do!

“Windowsill (feat. Devlin)”: Oh, geez, we’re really just jumping right into the next song. “Windowsill” doesn’t beat around the bush at all. When he started talking about having sex on the windowsill, my first thought was to wonder if they closed the blinds first. Can you tell I’m on the ace spectrum?

“Tightrope”: Awww, “Tightrope” is really sweet. I think. I mean, the whole idea that this person made him want to take the risk of loving someone again is a nice sentiment. Man, I wish I were bilingual… Gotta open my Duolingo app again. I gave up on French, but I’m still casually trying to learn Korean and relearn my forgotten Spanish. Stress on the word “casually.”

“River Road”: Mr. Malik, why did you bookend this album with existential crises? I mean, I wasn’t expecting this level of angst. The repetition of “Don’t you ever hope for something else?” really hits.

Like “Calamity”, “River Road” feels like a poem put to music. It’s got the “I wonder what’s next for me after this disappointment/failure/sadness” theme and references the four seasons, but it  somehow doesn’t seem cliche at all. Now I have feelings today. UGH. I did this to myself… Man, music really brings out pre-2023 Ryn’s feelings, doesn’t it? And to be honest, 2023 Ryn has the same problem.

Final Thoughts: Well, that was fun? Maybe fun is the wrong word because “Nobody Is Listening” definitely has that pandemic/quarantine album vibe to it. I really enjoyed the music. I don’t usually like R&B all that much, but this entire album slaps. I think my favorite was the first song. I concur with 2022 Ryn. This album is really good, but R&B usually doesn’t float my boat.

Superbloom and “Heart-Shaped Box” Cover by Ashton Irwin (reviewed April 23, 2022)

My next task will be to listen to Ashton Irwin’s (of 5 Seconds of Summer) solo music. I remember his song “Skinny Skinny” but that’s about it. Oh, and his cover of “Heart-Shaped Box”! I’ve heard that one, too. I’m starting with his 2020 album Superbloom. Let’s do dis!

“SCAR”: “SCAR” starts off like a rock opera and then transitions into something like a more polished Nirvana song. Ugh, I love a sibling shoutout in media! Referring to references to his younger sister Lauren in the lyrics. And also I’m never mad at a “keep holding on” song that’s more realistic than idealistic.

“Have U Found What Ur Looking For?”: “Everest is the bathroom at the top of the goddamn stairs.” Also “headaches beat me down to a lifeless stare” gives “Migraine” by twenty one pilots vibes. It’s song #2 and I’m starting to see that Mr. Irwin is writing about mental health/illness and it’s putting me in my feels. Especially with talk about substance misuse issues and Christian allusions and identity crises all in one song… yikes. Too close to home, my man!

“Won’t someone tell me who I am?” OOF. Oof is right, 2022 Ryn. Identity crises never end; they just morph.

“Skinny Skinny”: This is the one I’ve heard before. From what I understand, it’s about his eating disorder. And for every millennial/Gen Zer with a *complicated* relationship with food, it’s super relatable. Maybe not all the details, but the general vibe of the song: “My second face, my own reflection … We always meet without permission / You tear me up all of the time.”

The fact that this song is so simple with guitar and vocals for most of the time and then moves into more distorted sounds is a prime example of medium fitting the message. Thank you, Digital Humanities classes, for giving me a deeper understanding of art and artistic forms!

“Greyhound”: Is this gonna be about buses? Weirdly enough, I usually find bus travel stories super interesting, so I’m ready for this!

More distorted guitar here… turn up that gain, king! “I’m not bitter and broken / I’m just torn up inside” is a great lyric. Although, he does rhyme “inside” with “inside” in the next line, which I don’t love, but it’s still good. Yessss, bring in those synths! Also this song is definitely about dogs and not buses… oops… First of all, I’m surprised 2022 Ryn’s brain skipped dogs and went straight to buses. Second, this is another example of a stream of consciousness tweet. The more I enjoy music, the more I have to say, and the less polish I have while saying it.

I kinda wish this album had sparked a 2020 grunge revolution because I’m fully enjoying myself. This album is awesome so far!

“Matter of Time (Interlude)”: Okay, alright, I’m down with a slow and soft interlude. “Dive into the ocean and you’ll never drown.” This moment of hope in the middle of an album about mental illness feels really poignant.

“Sunshine”: Alright, how is this gonna compare to Liam Payne’s song of the same name? Oh, dang, completely different vibes… This is not a happy-go-lucky song, but rather a hopeful and melancholy song about the possibility of countless new beginnings. I was just a little thrown by an Australian person making a Fort Knox reference…

“Playin’ but not on the team” is a MOOD. You can tell I’m really enjoying and/or vibing with music when all I can talk about are the lyrics and my emotions… There were violins in the last song and I fully didn’t register that fact until it ended. If it were a trumpet, on the other hand, I would have noticed immediately. Not sure why, but trumpets always jump out at me. AJR, twenty one pilots, etc.

“The Sweetness”: Ooh, what an interesting guitar riff at the beginning! I’m feeling some harder rock here! A song about longing for the simplicity of childhood? Yes, please. The same song talking about second chances and regrets and coping mechanisms that aren’t always great? *Melts.*

“Think for a while / Are you still sane?” I still think this line can stand on its own.

This part of the song sounds like a demon repeating the lyrics… and then right after there’s a line with barely any distortion on the vocals. I think I love this song? Still a great song, even if I don’t listen to it that often because feelings are still hard.

“I’m to Blame”: DRUMS DRUMS DRUMS EERIE PIANO ACOUSTIC GUITAR. Aaannndd this is the purest stream of consciousness captured in all of these tweets. Please enjoy the unedited version of my initial thoughts of this song.

“I’m to blame / I showed you the light.” I like how this song takes a negative phrase (blaming someone) and makes it a positive. As much as I love these songs, AI has a tendency to rhyme a word with that word (e.g., “pain” rhyming with “pain”). It doesn’t take too much away from my enjoyment, but it is something to note.

“Drive”: This is a really sweet song about being there for someone in a time of grief even if you don’t have all the answers. Sometimes you just need to be with them. I always want my loved ones to know I’m there for them even if I don’t know how to help them all the time.

“The future’s not so clear, I’ll help you see / There’s so much more to life than you and me.” Yet he goes on to say that it’s okay if today is just the two of us. Sometimes we can’t handle it all, and that’s okay; that doesn’t mean this is the only thing you have going for you.

“Perfect Lie”: Ooh creepy… This has an eerie vibe. Yes, the future IS scary, Mr. Irwin. And yes, EVERYONE has a struggle, whether they admit it or not. There’s a light and dark side to everything. Also, I love how techno this song is. It’s like a mix between ’80s techno and ’90s techno.

“Strange brain, take a look at my cage.” I almost feel like Bo Burnham could have written the lyrics to this song. It’s very on brand for him with the idea that even famous people have struggles. Everyone is human; no one knows what they’re doing; no one is always okay all of the time; we all fake it sometimes. I’ve since realized that I’m just super interested in parasocial relationships, which is probably why I like Bo Burnham, AJR, BTS, Alice Oseman’s books, Taylor Jenkins Reid’s books, etc. The eerie vibes of this song fit the lyrics super well.

“Heart-Shaped Box” Cover: So I kept thinking that a lot of AI’s songs sounded like they were similar to Nirvana’s vibe, and he has a version of “Heart-Shaped Box” on Spotify! So let’s give it a listen, shall we?

Ashton Irwin doesn’t have the same grit to his voice as Kurt Cobain, but his voice fits this cover really well. He puts an eerie spin on the song and uses his falsetto really well with the “hey, wait” moments. Also, I never really paid attention to the lyrics to this song (because I couldn’t understand them fully) but now that I can make them out, wow… disturbing and very Nirvana.

This is a really good cover. While it’s fairly true to the original, Mr. Irwin does put his own spin on it. He keeps the eerie and existential vibes while adding more fluid vocals.

Final Thoughts: I loved it! It’s a mix of Nirvana, Tears for Fears-style 80s music, and his own brand of melancholy. I wish some of the songs had less editing done to the vocals, and some of the rhymes were repetitive, but this was overall so good. Definitely adding some of these songs to my current on-repeat playlist. I love me a grunge rock existential crisis! And I still do!

Harry’s House by Harry Styles (reviewed May 20, 2022)

A review of Harry Styles’ new music (as of late April 2022) is coming soon! Spoiler: “As It Was” is the ’80s pop song we all wanted from Harry Styles, and his ’70s look from Coachella just added to the timelessness of it. Harry Styles is going through his Beatles and ’80s pop phase at the same time, and I’m loving it. Can’t wait to listen to this album with more than a 1 a.m. brain so I can give my thoughts!

“Music For a Sushi Restaurant”: Let’s start with “Music For a Sushi Restaurant.” (Gosh, now I want sushi…) I feel like HS just wanted to scat and talk about sushi lol.. But I ain’t mad. This is such a joyful and fun song! And, I should add, something that I can imagine hearing at a Westernized sushi restaurant, like Blue Sushi, that serves vegan sushi… which as a vegetarian (by choice) and dairy-free eater (by circumstance), I appreciate!

“Late Night Talking”: “Late Night Talking” is apparently my sister’s favorite so far, so let’s goooo! Mr. Styles is really embodying the word “funk” on these first two songs. My head can’t stop bobbing. This is such a fun/cute song! I want to strut down a sidewalk in cool clothes and sunglasses to this song.

“Grapejuice”: Yesss, Harry, count us off, king! “Grapejuice” just confirms that even Harry Styles has an easier time expressing emotions with wine in his system…

“I pay for it more than I did back then” is such a great lyric. It can mean that he’s older, so his reactions to alcohol are worse. It can also mean that he pays for it more now emotionally, because he’s invested in this relationship. *Genius.*

“As It Was”: A.k.a. the ’80s pop song. “You know it’s not the same as it was” is a lyric we can all relate to after living through these past two years. Nothing will be the same. But even though this song is melancholy, it also reminds us that change can sometimes be good.

“Daylight”: I love that this song subverts the trope that brightness is the good part of the day. Nighttime is when he gets to be with his partner in the most meaningful way, for him. Also, I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate HS’s high notes. I’ve always been a sucker for a good falsetto.

“Little Freak”: Okay, a heartbeat. Oof, now Jezebel on the counter? Isn’t Jezebel a biblical reference? Maybe?

“Little Freak” is nostalgia in a song. But it’s not just general nostalgia; it’s that nostalgia that comes with knowing where someone is now, and still missing and/or regretting the person they were before.

“I’m not worried about where you are / Or who you will go home to / I’m just thinkin’ about you / I disrespected you / Jumped in feet first, and I landed too hard / A broken ankle, karma rules / You never saw my birthmark.” Birthmarks are something very personal to some people; this could mean that this person has never seen all of him, and he often thinks about this person even though he couldn’t open up completely to them.

“Matilda”: Wow… “Matilda” is really profound. It’s a chosen family song in a way I’ve never heard before. It addresses the trauma but also the strength that comes from this person’s past. The idea of throwing a party with “everyone you know” indicates a joy and pride in found family. I think this song will hit home for anyone who had to figure out who they were and deal with the reactions of their family.

This song is special. It’s an acknowledgement of the validity of someone who distances themselves from people they’re expected to love. You’re allowed to take care of yourself even if it doesn’t involve the people who “should” be involved. I don’t talk about this a lot for fear of hurting feelings, but the idea that I can choose who to trust and love has been very important to my development as a person. Granted, I could definitely be more trusting, but at least I have the opportunity to judge for myself.

Wait.. I can’t believe I didn’t talk about Harry’s references to the book Matilda! I haven’t read the Matilda books (I know! I’m a fraud.), but I do know that Matilda is mistreated by the adults in her life, and despite that, she lives by her own rules. Which just makes “Matilda” even better.

“Cinema”: I’ve got the cinema? Haha, 2022 Ryn, you’re so funny. “I just think you’re cool … / Do you think I’m cool too? / Or am I too into you?” We’ve all felt this way, right? (I mean, obvs HS is talking about his current partner, but the general feeling is pretty widespread, yeah?)

Wait, Harry brings the pop to the cinema? This is literally the dream… When will a man buy me some pop at the movies? Honestly, even though this is sarcasm, I’m still waiting for this day!

“Daydreaming”: “Daydreaming” is an absolute bop. I don’t think I’ve come across a song titled “Daydreaming” that I haven’t liked. I love how fun this song is, because it reflects the relationship he’s talking about. It’s fun in a way that’s comfortable. Like, I can bop to this song at home with all of my comforts around me. The relationship can be fun and comfy at the same time.

“Keep Driving”: Not Mr. Styles making me hungry for breakfast food at 9 p.m…

“A small concern with how the engine sounds / We held darkness in withheld clouds / I would ask, ‘Should we just keep driving?'” This, again, is such a relatable and profound moment at the same time. There are problems in the current situation, but we still want to keep going. But also… check the engine, please! No one wants to break down on the side of the road. Risk-taking and caution can coexist in some cases. I’m still searching for the ratio that fits my own life.

“Satellite”: It’s interesting that this song indicates a tendency to talk in circles but also open up when under the influence of drugs/alcohol. “Spinnin’ out, waitin’ for ya to pull me in / I can see you’re lonely down there / Don’t you know that I am right here?” HS is saying that he feels like he’s spinning out of control but waiting for that moment when gravity pulls him toward this person. He’s relying on this.

I’m a sucker for an even slightly astrophysics-related metaphor, but I actually think this has a lot of nuance. He’s “spinnin’ out” (i.e., going crazy) and waiting for this person who shared important moments with him to acknowledge the effect they’ve had on each other’s lives.

“Boyfriends”: I’ll admit that I listened to Harry’s Coachella version of “Boyfriends” before this, but I had no idea that the beginning was a reversed recording of the words “Fool, you’re back at it again.” I don’t talk about this often, but “fool” is one of my favorite words. It’s a label that defies limitations. It can be funny or profound or sad or nefarious. “Boyfriends” has so many layers.

It acknowledges wrongs against the partner of these boyfriends, the mistakes of the narrator who has likely perpetrated similar wrongs, and the ability of the partner to still be open to love and relationships. I only sort of understand the first third of the previous sentence but can’t think of how to reword it without too many edits. Sorry, dear reader, 2022 Ryn’s diction is here to stay. Perhaps because they still have hope; perhaps because being alone is too scary.

This is also the most melancholy and cynical song of the album. It’s the one with the least amount of hope, but not none. It’s important to acknowledge that “perfect” relationships may also have faults or not work out, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t important or special.

“Love Of My Life”: Sorry, the last song is called “Love of My Life”? How is this not gonna break my heart and heal it in the span of about three minutes?

Right off the bat, “Love of My Life” feels cinematic and intense. This song is hard for me to interpret. It’s got some minor chords and acoustic guitar/piano. It seems to be about someone he wants to know but is also a person that was the love of his life, past tense. It’s very sincere and bittersweet, maybe acknowledging that any relationship has to include the past of everyone involved, and all parties may not know everything. Or maybe acknowledging past relationships’ role in making the person HS is now in this current relationship.

This also feels like an admission that he could be trying harder, that he should’ve appreciated what he had before. But this doesn’t mean that he can’t have happiness and love now. I don’t believe that people have one love of their life; perhaps HS doesn’t think so, either.

Final Thoughts: This album is supposed to be his “domestic” album, but I kinda disagree with that label. It’s an honest look at a relationship that could be a long-lasting, substantial one. Both parties have a past. The relationship is complex. But it’s home. 2022 Ryn, this actually sounds like you agree with that label.

Harry Styles has done it again. He’s taken something incredibly personal and made it art. The vibe of this album is unmistakably Harry Styles, but it’s more grounded lyrically than his past music. HS (or at least his music, because Styles often has cowriters for music and lyrics) always makes me think and reflect, which is the sign of great art.

Conclusion

This is the last of the pre-K-pop boy band reviews, because in the few tweets after this review, I talk about watching a BTS livestream, how j-hope can pull off a mullet, and that I had fully joined ARMY (the official name of their fandom). If you think Ryn the Harry Styles fan is wordy, get ready for Ryn the ARMY member. He has a lot to say. But not until my next post!

-Ryn PB